Manna In The Wilderness

Hi guys!

Today is friday, so my dad came and picked me and 2 of my friends (Ryan and Eu Jeen) from Kolej Cendana.  Beforehand, he planned to send Ryan to the Shah Alam train station when he changed his mind and said that he will send us to Taylor’s College to officially sign me off from Taylors, and then send Ryan to the Subang Jaya train station instead.  My heart jumped and sank at the same time.  I became anxious and afraid, and for sure as I have expected, I was not able to overcome the depression and the longing to be in Taylor’s again as the car passed through familiar roads, builings, foodstalls and all of those sorts that I come to be familiar with during my 5 1/2 months stay in Subang Jaya SS15.  But still, I was excited to walk into Taylor’s again with my ex-classmate, evoking each other’s memories during our stay there. My dad parked the car at the place he usually parked to pick me up every friday evening while i was studying in Taylor’s College.  Almost suddenly, all the happy and sad memories came rushing into my mind, and my heart cried so desperately as I walked beside the curb leading to the college.  That cry in my heart, the hope to turn back and study in Taylor’s again, all of it was blind hope.  The fact now that I am studying in such a dull environment, doing a boring yet stressful program only made it worse, what is more, now that I am officially OUT from Taylor’s?  I need to learn to move on…seriously, or I will literally die out of sickness of heart, mind and soul, only because I am not able let go of the past.   

While walking to the Cambridge A Levels Administration office, the many memories I have compiled in my heart seemed to make itself real. Each and every memory passed through my mind for a swift moment as my eyes roll from one spot to another.  After doing the neccessary paperwork for the withdrawal, I went straight to the lecturers’ room, but was greatly dissapointed because none of my lecturers was there at that moment.  I was hoping to say goodbye face to face and thank them for all they have done for me.  After that, we bumped into Su Yoong, whom at first shouted my name from the D floor while we were at the front gate.  I cannot help myself, the depression and longing was too great.  I plunged my arms around her and gave her a hug, and the cry in my heart only grew stronger.  We talked for about 20 minutes, shared my feelings about my stay in INTEC, my heart’s cry, my longing…about everything basically.  How I miss my dear friends and lecturers there, who had been a great blessing to me…guess that I am not doing as well as Ryan is, he seems to be more determined and focused, unlike me, whom until now is still finding my passion and heart’s desires (career wise)…although that, God will always always be, now and forever my greatest passion and all that my heart wants and needs.

We did not spend much time there, only showed Eu Jeen some of precious Taylor’s facilities including the toilets, haha…!  No matter what, I should be glad and happy, for the Lord has blessed me with the opportunity to be in Taylor’s, though how short the period may be, and also for providing for my studies locally and abroad.  What kind of a person I am and will be, if I’d continue to complain?  Complain for being blessed?  How could I? 

Well, though my heart is heavy, I do pray for you so that your heart though heavy too, will find peace.  God bless you.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 14th, 2006 at 6:21 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.