Manna In The Wilderness

yes!

i passed!!

yahoo…!!

can drive around adi!!

yea…

…

…

…

…

…

back to INTEC…

…*sob* *sob*… :’(

bwaahahahaha……………

hi…

glad to be home for a day from INTEC…lousy place, coz my driving exam is tomorrow…shit, hope i can pass…i really need some confidence right now.

haiz, as Ryan told me, i think we did a bloody mistake by leaving precious Taylors…gosh, cannot imagine how my life is REALLY gonna turn around…the environment in INTEC is NOTHING like Taylors subang - dun wan to get to the details la, who knows where i will end up if i did -…sad case, ryan and i spent most of our FREE time (most of our time were used up for the stupid orientation…doing lotsa stuff which in my opinion are mostly unneccessary) conversing bout taylors n how life there is so much better and convenient compared to here in Shah Alam.  Will miss the variety of food in subang, though actually got very bored with all of em…but still there is variety, unlike nearby my hostel, where one can only spot 2 mamak restaurants, 1 petronas (no use for me), 1 indian grocery store, 1 7/11, 1 police station (security), and lots lots lots of trees… and whats worse…my hostel (they call it Kolej Cendana) is so damn far from INTEC…waited for the bus for at least an hour at the gate…Grrr….(mayb was being too polite…ryan knows what i mean)…sigh…what to do?  the things we hv to sacrifice and accept, in order to receive help for our education, i guess its worth it…

so many things there im not really glad about…those who really know me well will know what im talking about…the place is like…so….ermm…not ‘teenager friendly’??  i guess that sums up the whole thing…esshhh…i thought im old fashion, so what makes the college??  huh?

ya…another thing, i really dunno whether i should continue my engineer course…not sure whether i really want to be an engineer actually…honestly, i was kinda relieved when i didnt get the scholarship coz dun hv to think bout engineering adi…y oh y did i go and appeal!!  SHIT!  because now i hv the scholarship in my hands, it is without a sniff of doubt that this scholarship is gonna save a big hole in mah daddy’s pocket…though i hv to sacrifice my own interest for the greater good, for my family.  but no point standing up for myself (yet), coz i dont even know what i want…i thought what i wanted was my true passion, aihzz…but now, i even doubt my own passion for anything…guess my passion is to stay at home watching TV, mind u coz i didnt get the chance to savour the 6 long months of free time most of YOU guys had, so…hvnt got bored of TV yet….not yet…haha!!

Im so mentally deprived…my mind is so messed up right now…dunno what exactly im suppose to think about…oh ya, tomorrow’s driving exam…aihz…god hv mercy…gtg to my own self created mind imagining virtual reality driving test…haha…hey it actually helps a lot, since no manual car for poor me to practice!!

well, see you in a mars year’s time…buh bye

have you ever walk through,

a road,

where you are sure

that you,

yourself,

can walk through?

but when you step

onto the road,

your feet start to bleed,

and from that moment on,

you realise that you have always been wrong,

about yourself,

from the very beginning, where,

at the time,

you stubbornly say

"I can, this is my destiny"

"This is what God wants from me"

"Dont tell me what I can or can’t do"

"This is my RIGHT!"

"This is MY LIFE!"

"I DO WHAT I WANT WITH MY LIFE, YOU HAVE YOUR OWN!"

and left all that has worth,

to search, own, gain, and love,

all that is worthless…

have you ever?

if you have,

then…

at least you are not alone,

in this world.

I feel the urge on a dim lighted morning,

                out from the thick blanket that covered my feet…

      The urge from my heart, to my arms, my legs and my fingers.

                        I walk down the hall, pull out the chair, lift up the cover…

"Three keys my heart understands, Three keys my fingers know best.

Three keys my heart comprehends, always, Three keys are my guests"      

I start with my favourite key,

            to tell a story - The Ramblings of E major ~ your personal story

Simple and sober, light touch on high E…with a pause,

                                   ringing voices on F# and G#.

                                                                             G#    ~~~~~ringing~~~~~

                                             F#

E….pause…

                                                                                  and the story goes…   

E major…the emotional key…don’t underestimate its power for its music reveals who you are.

    "My music tells the stories of love, hatred, worship, despisal, power, deceit and justice.  But only your story will I tell, and your story shall you hear"

Be cautious to the notes of E major, do not be deceived, be true to who you are, and who you are is what you will hear.

After E a tone down is D…

                     …the easiest key to master yet the most difficult to apprehend.

Begin with the fifth note…A, followed by the second and the third.

                                            …5, 2, 3…

Moderate on A…

                                            gracious on E,

                                                                                 passionate on F#…

A…moderato

                                                                                  F#…passionatte

                                             E…gratia            

                                                                                  and the story goes… 

D major…the divine key, tells of a love greater than any love known to man.

    "Do not try to understand my music up in your head, but experience the passion down in your heart."

Listen to what D major has to say, it speaks of a love that is divine, pure and true.  Experience what its music has to offer…

For the third and the last, after D a tone down is C…

               listen, hear the strong voices, they are determined and unshakable!

                                              melody ~ F, E, C, C.

Start with the fourth chord - F

                      Bright and strong on F, decresendo from E to C

F……faith

                         E…….endurance

                                                             C……courage       C……confidence

                                                                            and the story goes…   

C major…the courageous key, always mistaken as the easiest of all keys, no…

      "My music is of faith, endurance, courage and confidence.  Listen, the voices are strong, determined, and unshakable!"

Know that C major is strong at heart, and its music can help you soar above the storms…

~calvin~         

Hi guys,

how have you been?  Miss you lots.

You might wonder why I say my life is gonna change.  Well, to those who do not know yet, I accepted the JPA scholarship offer.  Therefore I will be leaving Taylors College on the 27th of June and step foot in INTEC to do AUSMAT (Australia Matriculation) and in 2008 fly off to the ‘Land of The everlasting SHEEPS’ to continue my Engineering course (guess whats the worldwide name for this place, kinda obvious =D)…kinda sad though, because I love Taylors so much and PE 2, you rOcKK!!  To the fReAkks in PE 2 - the ‘E’ brothers, xiang lyn, jan, ching ching, ei-vonne, william, christine, and everybody……- will miss you lots, you have made my 5 1/2 months stay in Subang so worth it, though Subang really sucks - sorry Jerome (smart boy!!) - but its true.  Though the food sucks too, having lunch with you guys changes that, because your presence transformed the yucky food to food offered to Kings.  Sigh, won’t be able to make anymore suggestions at the front gate, ’suggestion!’, ‘michael jackson!’ and ‘janet jackson!’…really stupid, i think, but the fun is tremendous! 

Will miss having A Levels lessons with you guys, because AUSMAT (equivalent to SAM) sucks compared to the highly recognized A Levels, and I don’t know what i’m gonna do with my lab coat and goggles…hmm maybe play Einstein for fun…haha, and you know whats worse?  I have to resit for the useless, boring, ’sleep-generating’ Malaysian Studies exam, arghh…really sucks down the elephants’ ass!  Sigh, can see now how my life is gonna change?  Furthermore, teachers in INTEC of course won’t be as fun, qualified, powerful, intelligent, hardworking (miss suzie - your specialty), punctual (you can exclude ‘you know who’…=p) and all the good qualities a teacher should have, compared to those in the ‘ever producing good results’ Taylors College.  One good thing about this is that….hehe, I don’t have to the holiday homework given to you and me!!  MUAHAHAHA, aint that fun?  But still, i’m a good boy, I will try my best to finish them, though most likely I won’t be able to pull them out from my bag, but at least I try right?  Should give me credit for that, because its not easy you know dear miss suzie, to pull out our home work, sit down, grab the pen, and scribble whatever that is needed.  The total enthalpy change before and after the ‘homework process’ is so great that it needs very high energy for a successful collision to occur, futhermore, there are many ‘factors’ around us that poisons the catalyst, resulting in a wastage of time.  Therefore, after  5 1/2 years of experience in Taylors, I urge all teachers in Taylors to reduce the amount of homework given in order to save those poor little souls from drainage of energy, so that at least, they will have a life to look forward to.

There is so much to say…but it seems that everything is kinda scrambled up inside my brain, I never had this problem before, hmm, i guess it is because of the ‘exotic’ further maths questions we have been doing…and I believe the climax was during the Mechanics paper…you guys remembered how it affected poor Kar Wee?…so sad…ya, it occured to me that I won’t be able to collect my papers, so……good luck to you!!  at least I know my Physics marks already, thanks to the ’self-initiative’ Miss Lim!

To all my teachers there, thank you so much.  I learned a lot from you, I trust that you will continue to help PE 2 through the A Levels course, and God bless you and your family.

All the best friends, byebye…and take care,

oh ya, might be meeting Ryan and Siti there…nothing to worry about, they are the quiet ones…hehe…!

God bless, sincerely,

Calvin Lim.      

I don’t know you,

don’t come up to me, and say

"I know who you are, let me help you"

Don’t say what I can or can’t do,

you have no authority over me!

You came out from no where,

after time has not known us anymore,

and say,

"I love you"

Don’t you dare interfere with my life,

you have your own to corrupt,

you are through with me,

and I with you.

Good bye…

may the whispers of your presence fade away,

even in the most quiet place of all places,

and I warn you,

if you ever start whispering,

you will never hear from me again.

~anger~

sigh…

could’ve figure it out if i had more time…

= (

im feeling tired and hungry…

aihzz

ciaoz..

I’ve known myself

for too long…

too long to know who you are.

Sorry my dear,

you thought I loved you.

You assumed you have what you want,

and that what I want is what you want.

Aint we fools?

As they say…

only fools’ love ends…

forgive me,

I’ve played you, and myself…

for years asking you to rescue me,

where there was no intention at all,

of being rescued…

But yet,

you saw further than any eyes could see,

and you tell me that I need to be rescued,

and you rescued me.

from all my heart, please forgive me

for now I realise,

I need you, you have rescued me

from myself, and made me see,

how beautiful you are, and how much I loved you,

most of all…

when I was playing you, and myself.

This post is specially for Ryan…

Thanks for everything during your stay here at SJ,

most of all for sitting beside me every lesson…= )

ALL THE BEST TO YOU AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU!

ALWAYS STUDY SMART…

DONT FORGET TO PLAY,

WATCH F1…

KICK YOUR FOOTBALL…

AND KEEP IN TOUCH!!

YOU’VE BEEN An INSPIRATION!!

Just from,

cAlVin LiM