Manna In The Wilderness

halo..haiz, sick today, was having some headache, after that fever and sore throat…can’t come to school today…to those following my past stories, well, i fell much better di, no more lonely la…was quite sure that that prob was juz a temporary thingy…

man, small little problems are coming to me like a swarm of bees…first sick (yesterday in school), nearly kena caught for long hair, then my compt got crazy, violin lesson sucked (i irritated the teacher again), compt still hving problems even after sending it to the shop - they say d display card kaput, but after changing it, the problem presists, i believe its either the monitor or the damn motherboard that only served me for 6 months - many other things la…dun wanna waste my time bemoaning after them though, well, since i have the day ‘off’…i guess its better for me to keep my brains on the damn books…mind you coz i got a 46, a D7 for my ’sejarah’, well, the tought of it already got my motor going, for how long i dun know…see ya later then. 

thx darryl for your undying friendship.

sad…

so sadd….

juz very lonely, very very LONELY

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*knock*knock*…

anyone there???

…………………….*wind whistling*………………………….

hiaz…

so long,

bye…

In Christ Alone

I Place my trust

And find my glory in the power of the cross

In every victory

Let it be said of me

My source of strength, my source of hope

IS CHRIST ALONE.

hi friends…wanna express somethings with ya

so many things had happened to me these days…and I just wanna say thank you to all of you, because everytime when I am at home, i will always miss ya’ll, i wanna be with you all, i am so alone……

well, that was few days ago,

sorry to say that…but now at this moment even when I am with you, when there are friends around me, i never felt so all alone…i just feel very down and miserable…i dun noe how to say this but, as i told caryn the other day that i just felt that i dun really have anyone i can talk to……well except God lar…but talking to God is so different than talking to someone that you can see physically…well, i always depended on God and of course i will continue to trust Him…cause he is my best friend, no one can take his place, this made him my hope, my joy, my all…when everyone is out of my life, he is the one i can turn to, he is the ray of hope, when all other rays are gone……dun get me wrong, i am not saying that i dun appreciate you all…NO!  you all are great, this probably just a temporary ‘thing’ lar…I appreciate every second you all spend with me.

sometimes i wonder…who am i in this world, is it a must for me to exist?  what changes will i make?  did i make any?  even if i did, are the changes good?  am i a trash in d world, like those terrorist but in a more silent way?  am i important?  am i invisible?  or am i just a puppet for people to ask me add maths questions for their own benefit?  do they really care for who i am?  do they ever thought of me…even when everything is ok, or are they just wheather friends?  will they be willing to do something for me, if it will cost them alot?  even if they agree to do it, are they doing it from their hearts, or are they doing it because they felt pressured to do it where actually they are trying not to interfere? do they accept me just as i am and talk to me for who I am?  or do they just put on another personality when they talk to me…just hoping not to hurt my feelings?  is respect for me?  do i deserve respect?  or i am just merely a nobody?

so alone…thats all i wanna say,

sometimes….i rather trust and depend on the kindness of strangers than the ones i know……well, i dun noe how to explain why…but sometimes i depended on them… and also God as my highest priority in my life.

even when nobody cares for me in this world, well, so what?  i did my part wholeheartedly, and i will not be ashamed if i am to face the creator…

tq again for all your friendship, i love all of you, surely i am gonna miss you after SPM.

After the sunshine,

      comes the cold rain,

that pours so vigourously, triumphant over me,

      that when I sweat, to sweep the floors clean,

              just to be trampled and mocked,

like a cur,

   walking in a dismal street,

        where all the lights are turned off….

so dark,

          barely see my ownself anymore,

so cold,

          stone, my heart had turned into…

But, I tell you the truth,

                   that I am always myself,

for I have always fought……not for my rights,

        but His right to bless me,

as His child,

                          under His arms…

                                                         comforted and loved..