Manna In The Wilderness

haiz,

I feel really miserable today.

Now I know how Ming Jie feels, that is when other people around him are sad and miserable.   I understand exactly what he meant when he says that he feels terrible and sad when his friends around him are down.  I just want to say that I am very sorry to have hurt him, through this way one month ago.  Gosh, it feels really bad to see my friends in pain, to see them with their heads down, looking deep into the ground as they walk, as though they have no reason to live anymore.  I just hope that my friend will know how fortunate he is, because there are many people around him that love and care for him, including myself, and cannot bear to see him suffer.  Today may be hard for him ; and surely it was hard for me and Timothy too ; but that doesn’t mean we should dwell in that hardness forever, instead we should call out to God for help to pull us up and back us up.  But I know how the pain feels like, because I myself been through it right after the May-June holidays in school, where I see myself going down the drain, and when I said to myself that I am useless, I didn’t do my best, I am a failure, and also when I realize that I am actually full of jealousy, but yet I know its wrong.  I felt terrible.  Anger, jealousy, sorrow, lostness, lonliness fills my atmosphere for more than 3 weeks.  I do not know whether my friend can tell that I felt that way.  But I know that he would not judge me, instead I know that he will encourage me and remind me of how fortunate I am.  So now, I just want to tell him that this is not the end ; I can guarantee him that 200% ; and that its DEFINATELY not his fault that we didn’t succeed.  So don’t blame youself okay?  Just want to tell you that you are not useless, or uncapable or anything like that…O yes, it is true that we are useless and uncapable ON OUR OWN, but with God’s help, imperfectness is made perfect and all things are possible!  I may not always be available to help you in your troubles, but surely God is, because JESUS IS YOUR BEST FRIEND…… !!  He loves you, and so do I.

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