Passion
Friday, April 22nd, 2005Passion
There was one episode of The Apprentice, where Donald Trump said:
"If you have passion for something, go for it. With passion, you will have good attitude, and with good attitude, you will succeed in that something that you have passion for. But if you are stuck with something you hate, zero passion, forget it, dump that job away and do something else."
I don’t deny that what he says is true. In fact, I think it is actually very true, if you understand and see it in another way. But sometimes, even when we do our best to pursue our dreams, we seem to stumble all the way. Our passion, our so called source of inspiration has turned its back against us…our passion, our dreams that suppose to give us the will, the desire to continue even through the hardest situation, has put us down.
There were many times, I sat down and wonder, what is it that I have passion for…what is my passion? Clearly enough, not only through myself, but also through the eyes around me, I have the natural love towards music, and i cannot deny that…no way. I believe god has gave me the talents, the love, and the passion for music for many reasons…the most important of couse is to serve Him. But I thought more about it, as I am now in form 5, it is high time for me to decide what I should do after SPM. What should i pursue? What I want my career to be? I thought about this many, many times. Like many others, I have dreams too. But maybe dreaming to conduct the Royal London Philharnomic Orchestra , or conduct the Dream Cast version of Les Miserables is, *ahem, is quite out of reach, (But oh man!!! How lovely it would be if I am able to do so, Ohhhhhhhhh…………….ahhhhhhh………………cool). "one has passion, doesn’t mean one has the talent." You may hear many people say that I am really good at music, can play the piano very well. Ya…maybe thats true in the eyes of my friends, but I think I still have a long way to go. Getting a 54/100 for ATCL (1st level diploma for solo piano, Trinity Examinations Board), whoa….is not good enough man, to apply for a scholarship, of couse it is wonderful to pass, because I myself didn’t expect it, haha, I really thank God for it. But you people must understand, to pursue music, you must be really good at it, you must have excellent discipline. That is what I think lar…but maybe I am wrong in certain ways, you know, like probably you may say that I am lacking in confidence, or I can excel if I really put myself into it, you name it. Thats the problem you see, there is always an uneasy feeling about this…for short, i am not sure what i should do. Music seems like a good choice, but somehow, I am afraid to go for it. I am afraid that this may not be what God has in mind for me, but whoa…How do I know what God has in store for me? I cannot just make a conclusion saying that God doesn’t want me to do music.
People say that we learn through mistakes…but I do not want to make a mistake in deciding my future, it would not be worth while, honestly I am afraid to make a mistake in this, and I do not want to waste precious time and money. I prayed about it…still doing so now…asking God for directions. All of us know that God has a plan and purpose for us, and many times the plans are not revealed to us when we are seeking it (maybe we are expecting something else different than God’s plans), and we just have to trust God in handling our lives.
man…it is so frustrating…when i asked my classmates, most of them have decided what they want to do…leaving me behind with no idea at all.
they asked me, "what do u like? u like music right? go for it lah…"
“go for it!!”?….then I thought to myself, what if that is not what god wants me to do…what if he wants me to do something else?? What if God wants me to do other things that doesn’t go with my passion?
Some said to me “music arr??? Aiyo…what a waste man, you have the brains for sciences, do sciences lar…!”
That really got my attention. Not to brag or whatsoever, it is true that I can do science, and I do like them…but I just cannot imagine myself working in a lab, with all those apparatus in my hand…in other words, I don’t have the heart to pursue sciences. I like science and mathematics, but it is not the ‘passion’ like kind, you know? But suddenly, I was afraid, what if God wants me to do sciences, what if He wants me to have a science related career?
Man……I was so confused about myself……suddenly I don’t know who I am anymore, why am I here? What god has in stored for me? Once in class, while studying chemistry for a test, I was so disturbed by this, I asked God, "Why am I studying this crap? What good does it bring in my future, why do I need to know that the Harber process requires ferum as the ‘mangkin’, why can’t you just show and tell me what you want me to do, and let me focus on that?!"
Then a friend advised me, “You cannot just wait here and do nothing, and hope that God will just open the door for you, you must go and do your part too, I believe that God will guide you in your way. But for now, concentrate in your studies and do well in your spm, do it for God.”
“Do it for God.” Those last words spoke to me…and I started to realise what my passion should be. "Whatsoever you do, do it unto the Lord"
Our passion, for all of us, should be the passion for God, so that whatever He wants us to do, we will have good attitude in doing it. He is the unfailing source of inspiration, and in hard and tough times, He is the one that will give us the will, the desire, and the strength to continue. All these passion for music, passion for sciences, passion for this that, are all secondary passions compared to the passion for God.
After those hard and confusing times, I thank God that he opened my eyes. My confusions are now cleared, I do not have to worry about what will my career or future will be, because it is taken care of. Science, music, engineering, teaching, name it, whatever God has in store for me, I will gladly do it, because it goes align with my passion for God, and God only provides the best and he knows what is best for me.
